02 12 / 2013
"Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lots of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it."
02 12 / 2013
Today I got into a huge fight with my mom. It was unprovoked on my part.
I know that that’s almost never truly the case but honestly I think this time I couldn’t have behaved any better to avoid a fight.
Sadly, it still happened and it was BAD. Like, really, really horrible.
I felt like shit for a couple of hours. Crawled back into bed and cried like a crazy person.
I hated everything and most of all I hated myself so much.
I thought I didn’t do anything too bad and only stood up for myself when I was, unfairly so, attacked.
But that wasn’t important anymore.
Here I was lying in bed in the middle of the day. I stood up that morning so fresh and ready to be positive and happy.
So why was I still lying down and pitying myself?
The day wasn’t over yet!
And maybe I was looking at the whole situation wrong.
So after all the melodramatic crying, shouting and throwing stuff, I now decided I was going to take a walk outside to clear my head.
That helped a lot, I felt better and started thinking rationally.
I started remembering al those cheesy life quotes that are supposed to cheer you up when you’re down.
But you know what, they are NOT cheesy, or cliches. They are actually very true.
“Strength doesn’t come from winning, your struggles develop your strength.”
“Even when we have physical hardships, we can still be happy.”
“It makes a person better to have hardships and overcome them and not blame anyone else for your mistakes.”
I could go on and on.
But there is so much truth to them.
I believe that I can CHOOSE to be happy. Especially when I’m down.
So that’s what I did.
I recognized my fault in the fight, mainly that I didn’t stop and caried on to infuriate my mom because I felt I was in my right to do so.
So I took a detour and walked to the store, bought my mom’s favourite kind of pie and headed home.
I wrote an apology note and put it on the pie.
We haven’t talked it out yet but the fact that she just handed me a plate with some delicious pie and tea says more to me.
We’ll get there.
And I am so much more at peace with myself right now.
So maybe everything will be just fine and eventually sweet, like this pie.